CIVIL DISCOURSE
“If there be time to expose through discussion, the falsehoods and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence.”
This “Counterspeech Doctrine” was written by Justice Louis D. Brandeis in his opinion in Whitney v. California and it forms the foundation of productive civil discourse. Sadly, over the past two decades, the list of words, phrases, and entire topics seen as inherently offensive has expanded to the point that both self-censorship and “cancelling” of those who dare to speak out has severely limited our ability to discuss, debate, and resolve our differences. While some claim words to be violence, their censorship and intolerance to words has only made actual, physical violence more likely.
It’s increasingly rare to find people willing to regularly engage in civil dialogue with those who have different world views. Both sides can be blamed for the polarization. But I’ve always attempted to hold civil discourse with those whom I don’t share beliefs and I always learn from those interactions. Like anyone, I can let passion get the best of me but here are some things that help frame my mindset to have productive and civil discussion:
1. Assume the best intentions from people offering opposing viewpoints.
Although we have different viewpoints, it’s not beneficial – or correct in most cases – to assume that those who disagree with us have poor intentions. We probably have similar goals; we just disagree on the best way to get there. That said, we should give others grace and assume the best of intentions.
If someone offering an opposing viewpoint chooses the low road themselves, that’s a reflection on them. Don’t stoop to their level. It’s okay to agree to disagree and disengage from the debate.
2. Be quick to listen and slow to speak.
Even if you are passionate about the topic, it’s important to give the other person your full attention to listen to their perspective. Don’t just wait for them to finish their thought so you can jump in with your favorite line. Take a few seconds to process what they said, and then feel free to present an alternative perspective or respond to their thought. When a discussion reaches the point of simply recycling arguments, it’s probably time to disengage.
3. Don’t resort to Ad Hominem attacks.
The quickest way to end productive discussion is to resort to generalizations and name calling – racist, sexist, homophobe, science-denier, fascist, communist, etc. Instead of attacking with the goal of disqualifying the speaker, use logic, reason, and evidence to suggest an alternative perspective. You may choose to take offense to their position — and remember that choice is always yours to take, not theirs to give — but if you are serious about engaging civilly, Ad Hominem attacks don’t facilitate conversations – they end them.
4. Use Evidence to back up your position.
Our positions should be based in evidence rather than just feelings. People can look at the same set of facts and reach different conclusions, and that’s okay. But failure to ground our arguments on objective evidence results in purely emotional fights from which little good can come.
5. Don’t leave the conversation angry.
It’s good to be passionate. And it’s good to have an opinion. Don’t let your passions or anger control the rest of your day or dictate how you treat the other person. Recognize that it’s okay to disagree, even if you felt you put up the best defense. Find common ground and realize the other person is still that – a person. Most importantly, relationships with family and friends should always be stronger than politics or policy debates.